Lots of confusion out there around the difference between consequences and punishment. Unfortunately, you don't want to mix them up as they are VERY different in relational terms.
Kids need to experience consequences but they do not need you (their attachment figure) to strategically punish them. In fact, doing so can tarnish their trust in you or in themselves.
Consequences are the disappointing and sometimes painful results of an action. Our children need us to allow them to experience these things in increasing doses as they age so they can connect the dots between their choices and the outcomes of the choices.
Punishments are intentional pain inflicted in an attempt to control a child's behavior. When we use punishment to try to motivate behavior we simultaneously dimish the fullness of our role as a safe haven for our children.
The less you are focused on controlling your child (either by rescuing them from the pain of consequences or by inflicting punishments) and the more you are focused on facilitating their learning and trusting their process, the more secure your relationship and therefore the more internally secure your child will develop. Which is the very thing that leads to good decisions and clear paths into healthy relationships.
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Join us as we explore the importance of teaching children to say 'no' and how we can empower them to use this skill effectively in various scenarios.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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Discover the importance of connection and presence in parenting, and how modeling rather than molding can help build a strong and resilient relationship with your children in this heartwarming and insightful video.
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