We want our kids to be able to take accountability for their actions but also be empowered enough to stand up for their needs and have boundaries with people who are bullying or mistreating them.
When someone is upset at them or with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them the difference between insults and feedback.
We want our kids to guard themselves from insults, but openly receive feedback.
Teaching them the difference will make all the difference.
Insults are aimed at their personhood (I don't like you)
Feedback is aimed at the behavior (I don't like what you did)
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, you'll learn how to guide children when they have hurt someone, by connecting with them about their feelings, modeling empathy for the person impacted, and collaborating with them to make repairs, as empathy is learned through receiving empathy and being surrounded by empathetic models.
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In this video, you'll learn why children can become emotionally overwhelmed during Halloween and how to prepare for it by setting concrete expectations and anticipating potential meltdowns, so you can provide empathy and support to your child without feeling guilty or disappointed.
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