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We don't have to choose between being compassionate and setting a limit.
In fact, the more connected we remain to our child as we teach them, the better their brain will function for absorbing the lesson at hand instead of processing our reactive responses to their emotions.
FYI: How long it takes to set a compassionate limit varies depending on your child's age, how hungry or tired they are at that moment, what other stressors they are navigating in their life at the moment, and whether or not you have been consistent in your structure and limits.
In this relatable and comforting video, parents are reminded to focus on minimizing damage and staying calm during meltdowns, even when they go viral, and to practice compassion towards themselves and others during these challenging times.
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.