Your kids NEED you to connect with the adults in your life.
I know this can seem the opposite when they cling to your leg as you leave them with a babysitter for an evening night out with your partner or with your friends.
But it is vital to their health. Because you are their most influential model on these two things:
1. How they should treat others
2. How others should treat them
So they are watching you and looking for a template on close mature relationships. You can't care for them fully without also caring for your own attachment needs.
Esp because you will unconsciously expect them to meet your needs if you aren't doing it yourself.
You deserve close, caring spaces to be given love with the other adults in your life, and so does your partner or close friends.
investing in your adult relationships IS investing in your kids.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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