Separation meltdowns in small children are not a sign that something is wrong with your child.
They are a sign that your child prefers you over other caregivers.
As their primary attachment figure, you function as the place they feel the most secure, so for a few young years (usually between 9mo-3.5/4 years old), they won't want to separate from you, especially in situations where there are no other family members or close familiar relationships.
Though this is emotionally laborious for us as caregivers, their clinging is a natural part of a secure attachment relationship in early childhood.
Try using separation rituals to help your children feel some control in the process and have a positive moment to look forward to in the separation process.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
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The video suggests using playfulness as a powerful tool when dealing with toddler refusal and that it is more effective than threats, punishment, or intimidation as it guides, influences, and builds trust while keeping you calm to prevent triggering more resistance.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
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