Boredom is painful. For kids and for us parents who feel their agitation and the pull to agitate us as a way to regulate their bodies.
The key for our kids (and let's be honest for us too), is to stay in a place of compassionate teaching.
What does that look like?
1. Express empathy for what they are feeling
2. Help them notice the body sensations connected with boredom. (Dr. Dan Siegel says "Name it to Tame it")
3. Help them develop the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state.
4. Be patient with them as this skill takes significant time to develop and master.
5. Instead of giving them options and entertaining them (rescuing them from the boredom), teach them how to discover their own options and tolerate the discomfort of boredom without collapsing into despair.
Discover why emotional responsiveness and support are essential for developing empathy and resilience in your child in this informative video that debunks the myth that giving your child empathy will teach them that the world revolves around them.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.
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