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Feeling jealous is painful. Feeling jealous and then being shamed or punished is confusing for a child. And it doesn't equip them to know what to do with the feeling.
When your child feels jealous they need the same set of things they need when they feel any other painful emotion.
1. Empathy and support understanding their emotion and learning words to put to it.
2. Help regulating their body.
3. Compassionate guidance on how to cope with the feeling.
Jealousy is not a character defect. It's a normal and complex body state that abates when it is acknowledged and the person feeling it is given emotional support to handle it and not act it out.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Learn why teasing your children for struggling can be emotionally abusive and detrimental to your relationship, and how to do better as a parent by owning up to your mistakes and treating your kids with the kindness and respect they deserve.
In this video, you'll be reminded that your parenting journey is unique and that you should focus on doing your best, seeking support, and being compassionate with yourself, rather than comparing yourself to others or trying to live up to impossible standards. So take heart, keep going, and keep loving those incredible littles of yours!