Feeling jealous is painful. Feeling jealous and then being shamed or punished is confusing for a child. And it doesn't equip them to know what to do with the feeling.
When your child feels jealous they need the same set of things they need when they feel any other painful emotion.
1. Empathy and support understanding their emotion and learning words to put to it.
2. Help regulating their body.
3. Compassionate guidance on how to cope with the feeling.
Jealousy is not a character defect. It's a normal and complex body state that abates when it is acknowledged and the person feeling it is given emotional support to handle it and not act it out.
.webp){kind=avatar}
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}