Lots of folks ask me about time outs...
My answer is based on attachment research (predictable meš).
Taking breaks is hugely important to help our brains reset when we are dysregulated. So YES to the reset and break part of a time out.
But we're adding to their dysregulation if we are trying to teach them by isolating them with shame or pain as a lesson.
Our nervous systems do best when we have calm people lovingly helping us to reset. (co-regulation).
The lesson we want them to learn is "our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can calmly make good safe choices.
Works for marriages too!
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Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
Discover which of the 4 attachment styles, represented by different animals, resonates with you the most when dealing with emotional distress in this thought-provoking video.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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