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When our kids talk to us in a disrespectful tone or using disrespectful words it can be tempting to sass right back at them in a controlling voice.. which ironically just reinforces the behavior we are trying to stop.
But if we do nothing, we also do our kids a disservice because they don't learn how hurtful their tone and approach can be when trying to communicate their message to others.
So instead of being controlling or dismissive, communicate a compassionate boundary and model how to be heard I always (as much as you can) communicating to them with respect.
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The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.