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When our kids talk to us in a disrespectful tone or using disrespectful words it can be tempting to sass right back at them in a controlling voice.. which ironically just reinforces the behavior we are trying to stop.
But if we do nothing, we also do our kids a disservice because they don't learn how hurtful their tone and approach can be when trying to communicate their message to others.
So instead of being controlling or dismissive, communicate a compassionate boundary and model how to be heard I always (as much as you can) communicating to them with respect.
Parenting can be hard. You want to do everything you can to make your kid feel worthy, but sometimes it feels like you're just not sure what to do. Luckily, dogs offer some great advice!
In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.