Navigating shame is HARD no matter what but it's way harder if you don't know how to identify it in your body, or say it out loud to another person.
Here are the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state..
1. Acknowledge their shame feelings
2. Buffer those feelings by being calm and present
3. Connect with them in an authentic human way that helps them understand they are worthy and not alone in whatever human thing they did or didn't do to trigger those feelings...
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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