1.
Kids don't gain perspective by being told that they are overreacting. That is how kids learn whether or not their emotional state matters to others.
Kids learn perspective thru the process of being given the opportunity to feel their feelings.
As a child develops, they are able to feel in their bodies the difference between small and big grief which helps them to notice that some things are smaller than others in emotional terms.
When a child is crying over any disappointment, they need you to help them understand their pain and grief so that they can learn how to surf it. Dismissing it gives them no tools. AND it sends the message that their pain is not worthy of attention, which leaves them ill equipped when bigger grief comes later on in life.
When your kid feels grief over something "small", remember your job is to teach them how to feel their feelings and to show them that relationships are a safe place to feel them. The ability to process perspective will come as they grow.
In this thought-provoking video, the speaker questions why we don't see more images of parents hugging their teenagers and reminds us that despite their growing independence, teens still need love, comfort, and compassion from their parents.
In this video, parenting expert discusses the reality of being patient and connected with your children, especially during challenging times, and the importance of repairing ruptures in your parent-child relationship to build a secure attachment.
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.