Kids, teens, and adults can all experience a level of emotional flooding that disorients us and leads us to push away the very people we need.
Flipping our lids. Losing our minds. Breaking down.
It's a chemical reaction to the neurochemistry of fear. We are essentially high on norepinephrine. Our brain is making it hard for us to think and to trust even our safest people.
So how should we handle this and respond when it's happening to someone we love?
The key is something I call the Letting go/Staying close method. Release any pressure on the person and STAND BACK but still STAND BY. Stay open so they can feel your unassuming supportive presence and not feel oppressed or abandoned by you.
Then when their brain resets, and their calming neurochemicals kick in, you can reconnect and help them identify what they need.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Learn why teasing your children for struggling can be emotionally abusive and detrimental to your relationship, and how to do better as a parent by owning up to your mistakes and treating your kids with the kindness and respect they deserve.
In this video, you'll be reminded that your parenting journey is unique and that you should focus on doing your best, seeking support, and being compassionate with yourself, rather than comparing yourself to others or trying to live up to impossible standards. So take heart, keep going, and keep loving those incredible littles of yours!