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Kids, teens, and adults can all experience a level of emotional flooding that disorients us and leads us to push away the very people we need.
Flipping our lids. Losing our minds. Breaking down.
It's a chemical reaction to the neurochemistry of fear. We are essentially high on norepinephrine. Our brain is making it hard for us to think and to trust even our safest people.
So how should we handle this and respond when it's happening to someone we love?
The key is something I call the Letting go/Staying close method. Release any pressure on the person and STAND BACK but still STAND BY. Stay open so they can feel your unassuming supportive presence and not feel oppressed or abandoned by you.
Then when their brain resets, and their calming neurochemicals kick in, you can reconnect and help them identify what they need.
In this video, you'll learn why children can become emotionally overwhelmed during Halloween and how to prepare for it by setting concrete expectations and anticipating potential meltdowns, so you can provide empathy and support to your child without feeling guilty or disappointed.
In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.