Small children often lack the impulse control to stop themselves from hitting, pushing, slapping, biting etc. Sometimes they are doing it in play, sometimes in anger, but all the time without a full understanding of the risk involved in their actions.
They need our help in hearing and understanding the limits in compassionate ways. The myth is that you have to punish or up the ante somehow in order for them to learn. Unfortunately when you do that, you are teaching a different lesson. That you have power to hurt (intentionally) and they do not. It breaks trust in your relationship or in their sense of themselves as a growth focused human.
Instead set limits lovingly and clearly. I say "I am not going to let you hurt or do etc" so they understand the boundary. And when they process the emotions around that limit I do my best (on my good days) to offer compassion and support to their process. And they learn. So well. Yes, it takes time, but they get there. And we aren't stuck in a power battle on the way there.
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In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
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In this relatable and comforting video, parents are reminded to focus on minimizing damage and staying calm during meltdowns, even when they go viral, and to practice compassion towards themselves and others during these challenging times.
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This video explains the reasons why young children may slam doors and offers tips on how to handle the situation with calmness, compassion, and understanding.
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