I want my children to be socially capable. To have the skill sets for interacting with adult authorities, especially their teachers. BUT. I also want them to have the skill sets for recognizing when an adult is abusing their position of power.
This is why I don't teach them that respect equals compliance.
I teach them respect is paying attention. And that if a grown up is guiding you safely and respecting you back, then you continue to respect them.
But if an adult is being hurtful, or creepy, or crossing boundaries that make you uncomfortable, you can come tell me and I will know how respectful you have been, because you really have been paying attention, and you and I will make sure the problematic thing that's being done to you gets addressed.
Don't let anyone tell you that the only way to respect someone is to comply with their every will. Nope, that's not respect, that's abusive control.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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In this video, the speaker reflects on how our mental and emotional states can impact our decision-making, and emphasizes the importance of offering compassion and understanding to both ourselves and others, particularly in times of stress, anxiety, and transition.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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