I want my children to be socially capable. To have the skill sets for interacting with adult authorities, especially their teachers. BUT. I also want them to have the skill sets for recognizing when an adult is abusing their position of power.
This is why I don't teach them that respect equals compliance.
I teach them respect is paying attention. And that if a grown up is guiding you safely and respecting you back, then you continue to respect them.
But if an adult is being hurtful, or creepy, or crossing boundaries that make you uncomfortable, you can come tell me and I will know how respectful you have been, because you really have been paying attention, and you and I will make sure the problematic thing that's being done to you gets addressed.
Don't let anyone tell you that the only way to respect someone is to comply with their every will. Nope, that's not respect, that's abusive control.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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The video shares a parenting tip inspired by dogs and encourages viewers to create a culture of connection with their family in the new year.
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In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.
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