The most powerful tool a parent has to influence their children, is their own nervous system.
When we ground ourselves and take responsibility over our own dysregulation we not only offer our children a model for calmness, we also make better parenting choices.
It's far more effective to be calm and receptive than to be angry and reactive.
And calming our bodies is infectious (just like we get infected by our children's upset bodies.)
It can feel like doing "nothing" in a world that values control so deeply, but watch what happens to your children and to your relationships with your children when you take the time to be grounded and compassionate, instead of reactive and directive.
Do it consistently (and I mean REALLY commit to trying it) and I promise you two weeks and you will have a very different influence and rhythm with your child.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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In this video, learn about the complexities of attachment relationships and why sibling gaslighting based on shared experiences may not be accurate.
Learn how to handle the endless "why" questions from your child by turning it into a time of imagination, allowing them to wonder and theorize about things, rather than just providing an answer, which can foster a sense of connection and curiosity.
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