It's been a pattern in our culture for a long time to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts. And while there are differences in our hormones as a result of our sex chromosomes, those differences are not things that determine our ways of relating to each other.
Overgenitalization is a term I am coining to help us deal with this problem. Violence doesn't come from a person's under-bits, it comes from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
Nurture doesn't come from someone's reproductive body parts...it comes as a result of being nurtured or encouraged to nurture.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
Discover evidence-based techniques for helping children process traumatic events in a healthy way, including encouraging them to tell their story and avoiding avoidance, with guidance from expert Dr. Dan Siegel and clinical experience.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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