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It's been a pattern in our culture for a long time to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts. And while there are differences in our hormones as a result of our sex chromosomes, those differences are not things that determine our ways of relating to each other.
Overgenitalization is a term I am coining to help us deal with this problem. Violence doesn't come from a person's under-bits, it comes from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
Nurture doesn't come from someone's reproductive body parts...it comes as a result of being nurtured or encouraged to nurture.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
In this heartwarming video, a gate attendant at Denver International Airport demonstrates the incredible power of empathy and patience in de-escalating a tense situation during a 6.5 hour flight delay, highlighting how accepting and understanding a child's emotions (and an adult's) can prevent dangerous behavioral responses and soothe their nervous systems.