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Anger can be HARD. Especially when you are recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control or used to justify abuse.
But anger is a normal and necessary feeling. It tells us when we feel violated or flooded or desperate in some way. Our kids need our empathy when they are angry so they can understand what they need and learn to manage anger the same way they are learning to manage other emotions ---with support and understanding.
An angry child is not an abusive child, they're a child in need of support. If your body only reacts to anger in trauma responses seek care for your own childhood stories to help you body separate then from now. You and your children deserve that.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Learn why teasing your children for struggling can be emotionally abusive and detrimental to your relationship, and how to do better as a parent by owning up to your mistakes and treating your kids with the kindness and respect they deserve.
In this video, you'll be reminded that your parenting journey is unique and that you should focus on doing your best, seeking support, and being compassionate with yourself, rather than comparing yourself to others or trying to live up to impossible standards. So take heart, keep going, and keep loving those incredible littles of yours!