Anger is not dangerous, and it needs empathy and space in our relationships.
But it can be triggering. ESP if we have experienced rage or violence in our journey.
We often treat children feeling anger as if they are behaving badly, but the feeling of anger is a valid and important feeling.
We need to teach our kids (and ourselves) how to feel anger and trust anger and share anger safely.
And when a small child hits when angry, they aren't being violent. They still lack the language to communicate effectively. YES, teach them, intervene and be clear that we use our words to communicate, but instead of shaming them for their anger, help them uncover it and listen to it and learn to communicate the underlying need.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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