I am always looking for ways to help us parents grow our compassion and empathy for our children (and see how effective it is for managing behaviors through co-regulation).
Today at Denver International Airport I got another one. We had a 6.5 hour delay for a flight and there were hundreds of other Southwest flights that were cancelled entirely.
People were upset. Like for REAL. You could tell we were minutes from physical violence.
People had been there for DAYS.
But no punches were thrown because this one incredible gate attendant gently parented the crowds with such incredible honesty, empathy and patience that I actually cried. It was beautiful.
And people felt heard and seen and it calmed their nervous systems despite the fact that things were still massively disappointing.
The grownups needed understanding and empathy to regulate their nervous systems, imagine how much more overwhelming it is to children who don't even have a fully developed prefrontal cortex to work with.
Accepting a child's emotions (or an adult's emotions) is not permissive of dangerous behavior. It's soothing and helps prevent eruption of behavioral responses.
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In this video, learn how to help your children build healthy relationships with their siblings by focusing on your own communication, being present, accepting all emotions, and using connection tools to model effective social skills without burdening your kids with pressure.
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In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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