If you grow up in a home where dominance is valued, it can be very confusing to know how to react when your children are defying your wishes or agenda.
The key is to not getting sucked into the old instinct to grab for power. Kids aren't grabbing for dominance (unless that has been modeled), they are struggling to think clearly or over tired or over hungry or have a need they don't know how to express.
When defiance shows up, remember not to seek compliance, and instead to seek connection. Get curious about what they are needing and use a spirit of compassion to work with your child instead of against them.
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In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
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In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
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