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With all of the various forms of parenting advice out there it can be overwhelming to know what you're supposed to do in tricky moments.
Here is a breakdown of 4 different parenting mindsets to help you identify choices based on your actual parenting goals.
1. Power and control mindset "my job is to teach you to submit"
2. Behavioral mindset "my job is to teach you how to act"
3. Permissive mindset "my job is to make you feel comfortable"
4. Attachment mindset "my job is to be a secure base and a safe haven for you to use as I guide you as you grow and learn about the world"
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
Discover evidence-based techniques for helping children process traumatic events in a healthy way, including encouraging them to tell their story and avoiding avoidance, with guidance from expert Dr. Dan Siegel and clinical experience.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.