Thank goodness that the attachment research is clear that our children do not need us to be perfect, or constantly attentive, or winning the parent of the year award. (Who can up with that idea anyway???)
They need us to be connection focused and capable of repairing when we get off the tracks.
Instead of laboring anxiously to be a good parent, secure attachment is formed from a parent's dedication to being a consistently responsive parent (specifically in times where our children are tender or in emotional distress).
Focus on the relationship between you and your littles and listening to their needs, soothing them when they are in pain, and delighting in them when you have the chance.
No need to beat yourself up for being grumpy sometimes or having a million distractions or not having their lunches cut into the shapes of their favorite cartoon characters.
You're not a bad parent. You're a person who is parenting in a complex world. And our instinct to bond to each other is strong and will weather many storms if we stay dedicated to returning to connection and care.
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In this video, you'll learn that if you struggle with big emotions and tend to withdraw, you may have grown up with an anxious-avoidant attachment style, but that this can be worked on by learning to tolerate your own feelings and be present when emotions arise, leading to beautiful connected moments.
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In this heartwarming video, a gate attendant at Denver International Airport demonstrates the incredible power of empathy and patience in de-escalating a tense situation during a 6.5 hour flight delay, highlighting how accepting and understanding a child's emotions (and an adult's) can prevent dangerous behavioral responses and soothe their nervous systems.
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In this video, learn how the care and responsiveness children receive from their caregivers can impact their ability to recognize and communicate their needs as adults, and how healing from a lack of emotional support in childhood involves acknowledging the wound, speaking your needs, and committing to giving yourself the care you deserve.
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