Reminder: As parents, we can get into a "no" state that is affecting our kids ability to co-regulate with us. We might be overstimulated, exhausted, or just flooded with all the things that need our attention. So we restort to a relational reactivity of annoyance and intolerance to our children's requests.
While it may seem counterintuitive, sometimes you need to find a yes you can offer to reconnect with your children so that the whole vibe of the environment shifts.
You don't have to say yes to the things you really need to hold a boundary on (no child, you still cannot put your hand in the hot pan), but find a little give (would you like to rinse the noodles in the sink when they are done?) and watch the magic when you find another way to say yes.
When you pause and find a yes you're saying yes to connection, and co regulation and finding a moment to connect amidst the 17bagillion tasks we are juggling our way through.
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Engage with your teen by giving them airtime and genuine curiosity to share their perspectives, allowing them to feel heard and seen, which will make them respect you more and see you as an ally in their maturing process.
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In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
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Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
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