One of the most prevalent fallacies in human development is the idea that if you respond attentively to your young children, it will form them into weak self-centered dependent adults.
The research indicates the exact opposite. When children experience emotional attunement and responsiveness from their caregivers it helps them feel safe, which in turn helps their brain develop more awareness and complex focus in relationships. When children's emotional needs are ignored, they develop heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships. (check out the strange situation studies, and Es Tronick's Still Face Experiment, and the Adult Attachment Interview, and all the longitudinal studies done with all three tools).
You aren't spoiling your child when you comfort them, hold them, respond to them, and treat them with the same respect you would want in a difficult or need based moment.
Ignore the judgment and follow your instincts for care. I promise you won't regret it.
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In this video, parenting expert discusses the reality of being patient and connected with your children, especially during challenging times, and the importance of repairing ruptures in your parent-child relationship to build a secure attachment.
Discover which of the 4 attachment styles, represented by different animals, resonates with you the most when dealing with emotional distress in this thought-provoking video.
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In this video, parenting expert shares insights on the challenges of breaking cycles, while encouraging parents to stay compassionate and connected with their children, as they have never regretted this approach, and harshness and disconnection are the most common regrets among parents.
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