Navigating shame is HARD no matter what but it's way harder if you don't know how to identify it in your body, or say it out loud to another person.
Here are the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state..
1. Acknowledge their shame feelings
2. Buffer those feelings by being calm and present
3. Connect with them in an authentic human way that helps them understand they are worthy and not alone in whatever human thing they did or didn't do to trigger those feelings...
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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In this video, you'll learn how to guide children when they have hurt someone, by connecting with them about their feelings, modeling empathy for the person impacted, and collaborating with them to make repairs, as empathy is learned through receiving empathy and being surrounded by empathetic models.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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